Saturday, August 14, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
The Connectors...
Have you ever heard of the Six degrees of Separation?
I have, but I was never sure what exactly it meant, until I recently started reading Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point. I know, I know a little far behind the trend but I never said I was a trend-follower! I do get around to it though, eventually.
It really is fascinating. In it he talks about different kinds of people and one group of people is the connectors. A connector is someone who knows so many people that eventually anyone you are trying to connect with will always be directed to you through a connector. Their group of friends and acquiantenances constitutes a huge varitey of different people from different walks of life. A friend of mine is a true example of a connector.
She genuinely likes people, she will talk to anyone, stranger or not. We go on our daily morning walk and she will greet and wave at, at least a handful of people within that hour. She, however, will not do what we all tend to do and give the obligatory wave or nod. If she can, she will always ask "How are you?" in the most genuine of ways. Funnily enough the person responding will always have something more to say than "Fine thanks, and you?" They will most of the time elaborate, like today when we were told that a storm-drain cover was stolen during the night.
I find as we get older we tend not to be bothered with people, that they can become a little tedious or even boring because we've heard their story so many times. But a connector will find something of interest in everybody and will take the effort to continue that acquaintance.
Out of all the groups, I would like to be a connector, because they have never allowed themselves to become cynical toward their fellow man.
I have, but I was never sure what exactly it meant, until I recently started reading Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point. I know, I know a little far behind the trend but I never said I was a trend-follower! I do get around to it though, eventually.
It really is fascinating. In it he talks about different kinds of people and one group of people is the connectors. A connector is someone who knows so many people that eventually anyone you are trying to connect with will always be directed to you through a connector. Their group of friends and acquiantenances constitutes a huge varitey of different people from different walks of life. A friend of mine is a true example of a connector.
She genuinely likes people, she will talk to anyone, stranger or not. We go on our daily morning walk and she will greet and wave at, at least a handful of people within that hour. She, however, will not do what we all tend to do and give the obligatory wave or nod. If she can, she will always ask "How are you?" in the most genuine of ways. Funnily enough the person responding will always have something more to say than "Fine thanks, and you?" They will most of the time elaborate, like today when we were told that a storm-drain cover was stolen during the night.
I find as we get older we tend not to be bothered with people, that they can become a little tedious or even boring because we've heard their story so many times. But a connector will find something of interest in everybody and will take the effort to continue that acquaintance.
Out of all the groups, I would like to be a connector, because they have never allowed themselves to become cynical toward their fellow man.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Resilience!
I recently got a glimpse of Elizabeth Edwards, the ex-wife of the former American Senator John Edwards, promoting her book "Resilience".
I had to wonder if all men who have affairs, are these narcisstic, egotistical monsters who are in desperate need of having their ego stroked by any woman who comes along, or are there those who are in a relationship that has failed them in some way? And then, would the wife also not be in that same situation? So we have two unhappy people together but reluctant to be apart so they try and make the best of a bad situation.
However, as soon as another woman appears on the scene, then the wife is the victim!
The 30 years of standing by her man somehow negates the fact that she was miserable and unhappy at his side.
Surely, when one is in a relationship that does not fulfil all one's need, one should always bare in mind that the other person feels the same way.
You may ask yourself why stay together then? And often, its the fear of the unknown, or one has become complacent, often it has to do with finances.
The point is that I have to wonder why all this is forgotten once a third party is involved and the wife, or the husband in some cases, then calls foul? As if everything was always okay and how it was still something that they both wanted.
I do feel for the woman who is genuinely content and knows that it is not perfect but what is and does not see it coming. That is heartbreaking. However, how often is that the case?
The cheating husband is always portrayed as a monster but just as women are quick to point out that behind every bitch there is a man who made her, surely behind every monster is a disgruntled, grumpy, unhappy woman.
I could be so wrong here but somehow Mrs Edwards made me think that there must be another side to every story. And is that not the case in everything.
I had to wonder if all men who have affairs, are these narcisstic, egotistical monsters who are in desperate need of having their ego stroked by any woman who comes along, or are there those who are in a relationship that has failed them in some way? And then, would the wife also not be in that same situation? So we have two unhappy people together but reluctant to be apart so they try and make the best of a bad situation.
However, as soon as another woman appears on the scene, then the wife is the victim!
The 30 years of standing by her man somehow negates the fact that she was miserable and unhappy at his side.
Surely, when one is in a relationship that does not fulfil all one's need, one should always bare in mind that the other person feels the same way.
You may ask yourself why stay together then? And often, its the fear of the unknown, or one has become complacent, often it has to do with finances.
The point is that I have to wonder why all this is forgotten once a third party is involved and the wife, or the husband in some cases, then calls foul? As if everything was always okay and how it was still something that they both wanted.
I do feel for the woman who is genuinely content and knows that it is not perfect but what is and does not see it coming. That is heartbreaking. However, how often is that the case?
The cheating husband is always portrayed as a monster but just as women are quick to point out that behind every bitch there is a man who made her, surely behind every monster is a disgruntled, grumpy, unhappy woman.
I could be so wrong here but somehow Mrs Edwards made me think that there must be another side to every story. And is that not the case in everything.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Exercise... love it or hate it!
There's something in it though. And one only realises it once one gets into it. I am no fitness freak by any means and there are times when I do not miss it when I take a break but ask me how I feel after one hour of spinning and the answer is always one big smile!
And thats what that something is!
I could go into the entertainment value of the different characters one encounters in the spinning class of the Virgin Active but that not the point of this posting.
Its just to say that that old saying an active body makes for an active mind and a feeling of well being, there's something to it.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Coming out of winter's slumber!
Looking at the blog, it looks so forlorn. I have the excuse that I went into hibernation for the winter and I hope that from now I will be adding more frequently to it. It must be said that I have missed this forum of just saying what floats around in my head and if nothing else, it remains a source of entertainment for myself and a form of expression. Now if someone else can gain from it too! Well... that would be a bonus!
This was such a GOOD weekend! I had the most interesting conversations. Yes! You read right,conversations, plural! I know! I know! Most times there is never anything of interest whose source is a conversation!But like I said this weekend, I was tickled. It went from discussing the book The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry, to how big is our universe! You should look at this link... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17jymDn0W6U. Very, very fascinating!
In between all this, the subject of how different men are from women was also briefly touched on.
All in all a very good weekend and hopefully a sign of what the rest of the week will hold.
This was such a GOOD weekend! I had the most interesting conversations. Yes! You read right,conversations, plural! I know! I know! Most times there is never anything of interest whose source is a conversation!But like I said this weekend, I was tickled. It went from discussing the book The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry, to how big is our universe! You should look at this link... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17jymDn0W6U. Very, very fascinating!
In between all this, the subject of how different men are from women was also briefly touched on.
All in all a very good weekend and hopefully a sign of what the rest of the week will hold.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
and he just burst in uninvited...
Two days ago, Loneliness burst in and took up residence. He brought a friend along, Depression. Most unwelcome guests and yet they have managed to permeate my existence and suck the life out of me...
I can feel Loneliness climb into bed with me and wrap himself around me in a vice-like grip.
I will be rid of them both but until then I'll wallow in it for a while.
I can feel Loneliness climb into bed with me and wrap himself around me in a vice-like grip.
I will be rid of them both but until then I'll wallow in it for a while.
Friday, November 6, 2009
50!! Time to be extraordinary!!
You know that as parents we try our best for our children and hope that we have a positive influence on their lives. And... secretly we hope that we are the more significant parent to our child.
Oh c’mon!! Don’t act all shocked!! There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition even among spouses!! This, however, makes me think of a an occasion that I happened to witness which left me with food for thought.
Last year, I was fortunate enough to be in the US for the Christmas holidays and amongst all the festivities I happened to be party to a 50th Birthday celebration.
The birthday “girl” a Jamaican–born prominent local attorney, beautiful and accomplished, elegant and eloquent, gathered her friends and family around to toast her 50 years!!
Besides the fact that all those Jamaican brothers and sisters have some serious moves on them MAN and really know how to party, they went ga-ga over my shoes!!! They absolutely them!!! LOL!! Now that’s enough to make any occasion memorable but no, besides that… what made it memorable was her speech.
Let me give you a brief history here…
Her mother now in her seventies left Jamaica with 3 small children after her divorce. The reason for the divorce is a complete other blog, so lets not get into it now. She settled in the US and struggled to bring up her children on her own without much help from their father. She managed to educate them and brought them up to be secure and confident adults. When her daughter’s marriage failed she helped to take care of her grandson so that her daughter could pursue her career. Remarkable woman I would say…
And now here is the moment, which will be forever imprinted in my mind.
When the time came for her at the height of her celebration to make her acknowledgements, whom does she thank for making her into the woman that she is today? Her father!! Hello! The dude wasn’t even there MAN!! (You do realize that ”MAN” is to be pronounced in a Jamaican accent!)
He could not attend his only daughter’s 50th birthday party due to prior arrangements!!!
It made me think that parenting is one of the most selfless acts that we will ever do and should never expect acknowledgement for it.
Today, I remember my father fondly. I have to say, as I often tell friends who are quick to point out that I can be such a princess, that the only time I was truly a princess is when I was my father’s daughter. He is gone now nearly 10 years and I still miss him terribly. Without him I wouldn’t be who I am today and without him I wouldn’t have what I have…
I will always love him.
My your memory live beyond the ages!
Oh c’mon!! Don’t act all shocked!! There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition even among spouses!! This, however, makes me think of a an occasion that I happened to witness which left me with food for thought.
Last year, I was fortunate enough to be in the US for the Christmas holidays and amongst all the festivities I happened to be party to a 50th Birthday celebration.
The birthday “girl” a Jamaican–born prominent local attorney, beautiful and accomplished, elegant and eloquent, gathered her friends and family around to toast her 50 years!!
Besides the fact that all those Jamaican brothers and sisters have some serious moves on them MAN and really know how to party, they went ga-ga over my shoes!!! They absolutely them!!! LOL!! Now that’s enough to make any occasion memorable but no, besides that… what made it memorable was her speech.
Let me give you a brief history here…
Her mother now in her seventies left Jamaica with 3 small children after her divorce. The reason for the divorce is a complete other blog, so lets not get into it now. She settled in the US and struggled to bring up her children on her own without much help from their father. She managed to educate them and brought them up to be secure and confident adults. When her daughter’s marriage failed she helped to take care of her grandson so that her daughter could pursue her career. Remarkable woman I would say…
And now here is the moment, which will be forever imprinted in my mind.
When the time came for her at the height of her celebration to make her acknowledgements, whom does she thank for making her into the woman that she is today? Her father!! Hello! The dude wasn’t even there MAN!! (You do realize that ”MAN” is to be pronounced in a Jamaican accent!)
He could not attend his only daughter’s 50th birthday party due to prior arrangements!!!
It made me think that parenting is one of the most selfless acts that we will ever do and should never expect acknowledgement for it.
Today, I remember my father fondly. I have to say, as I often tell friends who are quick to point out that I can be such a princess, that the only time I was truly a princess is when I was my father’s daughter. He is gone now nearly 10 years and I still miss him terribly. Without him I wouldn’t be who I am today and without him I wouldn’t have what I have…
I will always love him.
My your memory live beyond the ages!
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